Seal Team ZOO
SEAL Team ZOO: The Ultimate Spec-Ops Squad
When the world needed a team that could operate on land, sea and air – and look adorable doing it – the Pentagon assembled the most elite, unhinged and highly specialized animal operatives in history.
Official dossier:
CODENAME: SEAL (Commander)
The unflappable leader. A veteran of icy arctic ops and tropical beach extractions, he barks orders with precision and never loses his cool – even when the mission goes sideways.
CODENAME: FOX (Knives & Infiltration)
Silent, swift and deadly with a blade. This femme fatale specializes in stealth takedowns and has never met a lock she couldn’t pick. Rumor has it she once stole a general’s sidearm – off his hip – just to prove a point.
CODENAME: ORCA (Naval Warfare)
The undisputed master of aquatic ops. Need a submarine tailed? A pirate ship sunk? Or just someone to breach a target with a tidal wave? Orca’s your guy. Just don’t ask about the “incident” with the yacht that was painted black and white.
CODENAME: BULL (Heavy Weapons & Demolitions)
If it needs to be smashed, shot or exploded, Bull volunteers. Twice. Heavily armored and perpetually annoyed, he’s the team’s walking artillery platform.
CODENAME: Shepherd (Sergeant & Sniper)
A disciplined leader with a nose for trouble. Handles field strategy, prisoner interrogation and morale -mostly by staring at teammates until they fall in line. The only team member who gets to use his actual name.
CODENAME: CHICKEN (Intel & Electronic Warfare)
Don’t laugh. This bird hacked a satellite using nothing but a stolen smartphone and sheer spite. Handles comms, drone surveillance and psychological ops (mostly by clucking ominously over enemy radios).
CODENAME: CAT (Sabotage)
The team’s aloof, unpredictable wildcard. No one knows whose side she’s really on, but when a target needs to disappear without a trace, she delivers. Leaves no evidence – except maybe a single claw mark. Known for knocking munitions off of shelves for no reason.
CODENAME: HONEY BADGER (Unstoppable Chaos)
Officially listed as “deniable asset.” No plan survives contact with the badger, but somehow the objective always gets done. Ignores orders, chews through walls and once fought a tank (and won).
CODENAME: POLAR BEAR (Heavy Support & Team Hugs)
A gentle giant with the strength to flip armored vehicles. Handles heavy lifting, emergency extractions and mandatory post-mission cuddle therapy. Secretly the emotional core of the team.
CODENAME: HUMAN (Team Mascot)
Jon Jon Santos (referred to by the team as “Human”) is the official mascot for Seal Team Zoo. A Triple Canopy soldier, he is a highly-trained operative with multiple tours over two decades, cross-branch qualified and an Intelligence attache. When he requests to join missions, the rest of the team members just laugh and pat him on his head. “Maybe next time!” Sergeant Shepherd always says.
Seal Team ZOO: Active and highly unhinged. Command doesn’t ask how they get results – they just pray the receipts never surface.